four months...these three...

As the weather turns colder, my coffee turns warmer and I realize, with some sense of awe, that we have been home for four months...long enough to watch one season fade into another.

The last four months have been a whirlwind of making home, mission work, mindful reflection and many changes.  We've painted walls, pulled up trees, packed backpacks, parted with (many!) possessions and done a whole lot of praying.  It feels like us...

I would love to be able to say that we've done all of this with a smile on our face and hearts full of determination...
...but I won't...
...because that's not true...
...because this whole 'starting over' thing...
...it's hard.

And there have been arguments...
...tears...
...frustrations...
...time-outs...
...and days and evenings when we wander around like shells of our former selves.

But in the midst of all of that, these three remain...

Faith.

I still hold onto the faith that has brought us to this point.  Make no mistake...no matter how hard, how tired, how grumpy or how angry we may be with the day or the circumstances, I...we...have faith that being here, in this home is what was meant to be for our family.  We are reassured by the smiles on our girls' faces as they track in dirt from the backyard, or the way the dogs curl up at our feet at the end of the day content with their patches of sunshine streaming in through the window.

Hope.

I have hope for all that is to come in this home.  My hope is renewed as I watch Bug take off for the front door of school with her already well-established group of friends.  It is renewed when I hear Mimi chime "There's my house!" from the backseat when we turn the corner of our street.  It is renewed as I sip my coffee in the wee hours of the morning and listen to the leaves brushing against one another or in the evening when I lay down and let the cicadas sing me to sleep.  It is renewed in the sweat on my guy's brow as he works to carve 'us' into the floorboards of our home.

Love.

Oh, but we have love.  We have given it.  We have received it.  We have put it into every little project we have carried out thus far.  And even on the bad days...the bad days when I find myself being not the best version of myself, I am always quick to remind my favorite people that no matter what, the love I have never stops.  

...and the greatest of these...

Four months.  We are only just beginning.  Go well.